Lawyer jokes and stories from clients

These are snippets taken from letters and emails to lawyers from their clients, where what is said may not be exactly what was meant.

Who’d be a lawyer?

From a client complaining about nuisance neighbours:

It’s the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

 

 

From a client complaining his landlord isn’t carrying our repairs

My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

 

From a client bringing PI claim relating to a pavement pothole.

My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

 

From a client complaining his landlord isn’t carrying our repairs

50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

 

From a client complaining his landlord isn’t carrying our repairs

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

 

From a client complaining his landlord isn’t carrying our repairs

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

 

From a client seeking compensation against a manufacturer:

My cooker has backfired and burnt my knob off.